My Precious Thoughts

Lately, I’ve noticed something about myself: I tend to change how I act around others not because I want to, but because I don’t want to feel judged. I can feel myself performing, reshaping, or adding filters to who I really am. It’s like my brain is asking, in real-time: “How am I being perceived right now?”

It reminds me of a TikTok I saw where someone talked about how Gen Z is hyper-aware of being perceived and how even something as chaotic as Love Island reflects that. The Islanders are always aware of the cameras, always aware of the public watching them and forming opinions. So they adjust, consciously or unconsciously. And honestly… who can blame them?

We live in a time where every little thing, a facial expression, a random opinion, can become a think piece. Everyone’s analyzing everything. The line between me and the version of me that other people see is blurry, and I hate that.

Even something simple like posting a silly TikTok or a talking video becomes a mental loop of overthinking: Is this cringe? Will people think I’m weird? Am I being too much? That question “Do people think I’m weird?” feels like a silent narrator in my brain, editing before I even post.

And the worst part is that I want to be myself. I want to show up as that version of me that laughs too hard, rambles about nothing, and posts random thoughts without spiraling. But the digital pressure is heavy.

I don’t have an answer yet, but I know I’m not alone. And maybe that’s the first step admitting how exhausting it is to be seen all the time, and still hoping that somewhere in the noise, there’s space for authenticity.